Preface: I wanted to write in April, but that month was a
blend of ending the semester on campus, traveling to Rwanda, and doing a six
day debrief with the students. I now have the time to write.
This might be my last post in Uganda. My last three weeks in
Uganda are going to be quite busy. I am finishing up work and my friend Nina
(or Nine-na as I like to call her) from Seattle is coming to visit from May 15th
until I leave on the 31st. I can’t believe I only have three weeks left
in Uganda. I have been waiting for this month to come. May not only signified
my birthday (May 12th by the way) or my grandmother’s 70th
birthday or the end of Uganda. It also signified my journey into finally being
a settled person back in the US (Seattle to be specific). Yet as May snuck up
on me, the weight of leaving now becoming heavy.
When I applied for this position I knew that I had hidden
motives: to do Uganda right. The first time I was here I was
enamored/distracted by the American student I was dating. Rightfully so as I
should have been since he was my first boyfriend. Yet it took a lot of my focus
away from being in Uganda and also in Rwanda. So coming back to Uganda this
time was meant for me to have a second chance at it. I really don’t know what
“it” is, but I think I accomplished it.
Being in Uganda has caused me to become a braver person.
I’ve never really been timid, but I do know some times that I lack taking initiative.
In Uganda, many times there are no textbook answers, you just have to find an
answer. For instance, how many of you had to figure out how to get an
international student back to the US who has forgotten their Green Card in the
States? That is another story within itself. With this job I had to be the one
who is figuring out answers to situations I never thought I would come across.
I had to dig deep with researching and asking questions. I had no time to be
timid.
I’ve also realized that things for me have come full circle
for me while living in East Africa. It was like I left Uganda in 2006 with only
having the circle being a third complete. The other two-thirds of the circle
was complete when I went back to Rwanda in April. My eyes were freshly open to
the country that was before me. The development of Rwanda showed me the
determination of an African country trying to better itself after genocide.
Rwanda is badass. The government is making it harder and harder for NGOs to
enter the country. They want companies that will help to do business
development in the country. Organizations that want to do handouts they want
out of the country. Rwanda aims to be the next Singapore. Kagame (President of
Rwanda) has a zero tolerant for corruption. No plastic bags are sold in the
country or are even allowed into the country. In rural parts of Rwanda, they
have better Internet access than people do in rural England. The country is
developing so quickly and is also working at ways to keep Rwanda
environmentally sound. Rwanda is a beautiful country and one that I recommend
people to visit. Rwanda has been heading this way since I was first there in
2006; I just never realized it.
The resiliency of the Rwandan people is amazing. I got to
help out with a reconciliation organization that helps victims and perpetrators
reconcile by rebuilding victims homes and sharing a cow (Cows are very
significant in Rwanda. They are a sign of wealth). All Rwandans are not
reconciled, but to see the power of victims and perpetrators sharing life
together is inexpressible. Again, as I have written before, Rwandans have an
understanding of reconciliation that most people will never understand. Rwanda
became more beautiful after my last trip there. It was like I was forced to see
not only the beauty of the country, but also the beauty of the people and the
power of reconciliation.
As the Rwandan trip ended and the last few days of working
with students was on the horizon, I started to become anxious about my own
leaving and homecoming. The students do a lengthy debrief based on their
semester in Uganda and the Rwandan trip. Part of the debrief consist of facing
the realties of going home. My homecoming in 2006 was the start of the worst
two years of my life. Again, that is another story in itself. This time I want
to have a better homecoming. Yet as I was thinking about coming home, this week
I was confronted with the reality of going home: everyone has moved on in their
life without me. Friends have moved out of state or out of the country. Friends
have gotten married. Friends have gotten pregnant. Friends have found other
jobs. I would like to think that life was put on hold while I left, but
everyone’s life just kept on moving on.
My fears in going home are starting over again. I have to
find a new job and figure out how to fit in with my social circles again. Those
are things that were in the back of my mind when I knew I was taking this
position, but those thoughts were sleeping until May. I am going to long for
the safety of my life in Uganda when I get back to the States. My hope is that
my friends will have patience with me and are able to walk with me through this
journey.
So this is it. My time here in Uganda now only comes to a
matter of a few weeks and not a few months. I’m going to cry all the way to the
airport, which is an hour and a half journey. What will I miss about Uganda?
I’ll miss the unknowns. Not knowing what type of meat I’m eating. Not knowing
how long a car ride or a speaker will take. Not knowing if the guesthouse I am
staying at has hot water. Taking bucket baths (the only times I get hot showers
is by heating up water and taking a bucket bath). Sleeping to the sound of
either overnight prayer meetings or clubs blaring their music. Being told I
look like a Ugandan. Being called Stephanie, Tiffen, Tiffaan, or Fany. I’ll
miss the hospitality of Ugandans, the pride Ugandans have, and the desire for
Ugandans wanting me to stay. I’ll miss a lot about Uganda. Uganda has been good
to me. I am a better person because of the country.
Epilogue: Thank you to everyone who has read my blog and
have sent me personal emails. I have really appreciated them. I know this blog
lacks pictures, but I’m okay with that. I might post some after I go on my
safari on the 18th-19th with Nine-na and Shirley (from
Grad school). I plan on keeping this blog after I get back to the States. Not
sure how interesting it will be after Uganda. I wont be offended if you
unsubscribe.
Lastly, I was born on Mother’s day (tomorrow), which is why my mom only
had one child since I was the perfect gift to her… just sayin’ ;) Feel free to
shower me with birthday wishes.
Cheers!
