Back to life. Back to reality.

May 31, the day I was leaving Uganda, I was in my office and realized that I was now unemployed. My dear friend Nina also mentioned that I was also homeless. This all led to me lamenting, "I am homeless and unemployed. Why?!" It is now July 31st and I am still homeless and unemployed. Why?! I'm really exaggerating. I am currently staying with friends in Seattle and watching over three Australian kids a couple of times a week. I'm doing pretty okay right now. I am anxious (in a good way) to finally get a job and a place of my own (well, I'll probably have roommates). I know all of this will happen in due time. I feel as though I should be more anxious (in a bad way). Yet I have come to realized how false security can be. I like to think that since I have been well educated, traveled, and know how to take care of myself that this should be my basis for everything turning out alright in my life. Yet I have come to realized that A+B does not always equal C.

I am not in control of my life. I thought that by July 31st I would have a place to live and a great job. Yet none of those have come about. I expected myself to be more sad or upset about my situation, but I feel okay; even content at times. Before I moved back up to Seattle I was telling a friend in Uganda to pray that I get a job in Seattle soon. She told me, "You can only do your best and God does the rest." That was strangely comforting to me. As Tiffany Gathers, I can only do some much. There are times when I have to just "throw in the towel" (Thanks Nette!).

I'm finding that since I've been back in Seattle all I want to do is take care of my own needs. I don't have to care for students anymore. I don't have to worry if I'm being understood or if I'm not dressed to cultural standards. I can just be me. In my attempts to become self-centered, I have failed at it. Since moving back to Seattle, particularly the Central District, I have come to love this area more and more. It is so raw, diverse, and has hidden beauty that I just want to be a part of. Last week I discovered this little forest that leads down to Lake Washington. I've lived in Seattle for six years and have never come across this path. When I got to the water I just sat there and looked at beauty around me. It was one of those moments I always have: this is my life.

Lake Washington with Mt. Rainier in the background

Life without a job is kind of boring after awhile. So last week I volunteered with the refugee organization, World Relief, I interned at in grad school. Even though I was an intern for six months, my first day back working with refugees made me want to cry. I could strangely identify what it is like to live in a land that is not your own. One guy from Afghanistan said his one year old baby is sad because he is used to seeing 10-15 people in the house. While in the area he currently lives in people just stay inside. My interactions with him made me realized how I felt in Uganda. I longed for the culture I understood. He was longing for the same thing. Regardless of the fact that he was escaping from his country for a particular reason, he still missed the understandings and relationships his country held.

The rest of my day consisted of being at the emergency room. I had to take a two year old Iraqi boy to the emergency room because he fell out of a window a few days ago. He had a noticeable limp, but was in good spirits. He is such a happy child and loves being around people. He became attached to me quite fast. He sat on my lap while we were waiting for the doctor. Here are some pictures of the beauty of having an iPhone with a front facing camera.

Wait for it, they keeps getting cuter 

My favorite 

Okay, there is a point to this blog. Since being back from Uganda I have learned that Uganda has taught me how to love and care for people better. Being in Uganda showed me how to identify with other people, believe in community development, and to be present. My year in Uganda has also taught me how to be a better resident of Seattle. Seattle is now the place where I want to be. As for right now, I am not longing to be anywhere else. I've been amazed with how life is strangely falling together while being here. So far I have run into the right people since returning to Seattle. Some have offered me places to stay, jobs, and even times just to catch up. I feel blessed right now and I feel like everything is in the right place.